When the Future Doesn't Have the Answers You Seek
by Carf
Summary: 3.19 Speculation Barry returns from the future without the knowledge he needs so he turns to Kara for comfort.


Kara ducked under the alien's swinging fist and moved out of range. The balrick was nearly two tons of living stone all packed into a barely six foot package. So to say the least, incredibly dense. Especially in the head.

"Really, is this entirely necessary? I get it, you don't like parking tickets but it's not going to go away if you trash the court house. You know that, right?"

The balrick just roared in response and ripped out a fire hydrant to throw at her head. Water burst from the ruptured pipe into the air and drenched the street. Kara decided to just catch the mangled piece of red metal rather than let it smash into someone's maserati parked across in front of the court house. Kara didn't drive but she could appreciate a nice car when she saw one. Probably it belonged to some douchebag with a speeding ticket but it wasn't Supergirl's place to make that kind of assumption. Supergirl tried to protect everyone's property even potential douchebag's.

"Actually, he was probably more worried that they would find out about the intergalactic warrant out on him for, um, it roughly translates to drunkenly parking a spaceship on top of a Tamaran diplomat," Winn piped in over her comms.

"Yeah, seems like a legit reason to apply for amnesty on Earth," Kara responded, repressing giggles. "I'm sorry that's horrible but also way too funny. Do you know if the diplomat was alright?"

"Do you maybe want to stop this guy from destroying public property before I look that up?"

Kara resisted the urge to roll her eyes, knowing that someone was most likely taking video of the fight. Supergirl didn't roll her eyes, she was too proper for that.

"Yeah, I guess."

The balrick roared again as if he knew that he wasn't getting Kara's full attention.

"Yeah, yeah I'm getting to you, big guy."

Kara surged into the air, letting the wind keep her afloat. She raced around the stone man, forming a whirlwind like Barry had shown her. The balrick was swept up in a swirl of dust and litter until he was flailing nearly 30 feet above the street. Kara balled her hands together into one fist and brought it down square on his blocky head. The resulting crash as he hit the ground was almost as loud as a sonic boom and Kara winced as the car alarms for miles around went off. She touched down softly and toed at the shattered and cracked pavement around him. The balrick was knocked out cold. All that was left was for the DEO's clean up crew to come in and collect him. Maybe pass him off to the intergalactic authorities to serve that warrant.

Kara grimaced at the water still shooting from where the fire hydrant used to be.

"Not my most subtle take down," Kara grumbled to Winn. He had an uncanny way of knowing when she was talking to him or not. Probably because he was always spying on her via satellite and CCTV cameras.

"No, not really. I think the ordinance to expand the city's emergency repair budget will go through this month though so this sort of thing will get cleaned up faster."

"Well, that's good. Thanks for reminding me how much I'm costing the taxpayers."

"Hey, it's not like you started it. Besides since Supergirl showed up National City has seen a 20 percent uptick in tourism. You're good for business."

Kara sighed, since losing her job at Catco it seemed that was all she was, a walking (or flying) tourist attraction. Like Bigfoot or Dracula. Come to National City, get your hair blown in your face when Supergirl flies by, take a picture of a blurry figure in the distance that could be anything, buy a t-shirt, go home.

Kara turned to the crowd of onlookers and smiled and waved. Some kids started to play in the newly formed fountain. Someone in the back squealed. There was a shout of "We love you, Supergirl!" Kara's smile grew a little wider, a little more genuine. Then she took off.

"So was that diplomat okay? The one our friend back there parked his ship on?"

Winn chuckled. A crunch in the mic showing he'd dug out some snacks.

"Actually, yes. It looks like she was fine. I wish earth's police reports included more goofy selfies. From what I can tell tamaraneans are a pretty hardy race. Like they can fly and shoot lasers out of their hands all the time. Even on their own planet."

"Some people get all the luck," Kara grumbled with affected annoyance. Well, now she wouldn't feel bad about laughing. "You're coming to our feast thing tonight, right?"

"Ooh the feast thing. You're really selling it there."

"I don't know. It's Mon-el's idea and that's what he's calling it. He wants everyone to come."

"He's cooking?"

"Yes," Kara rolled her eyes, now safely out of the public eye. The sun was steadily setting over the city, turning the buildings golden and orange. Kara took a moment to appreciate the view, hovering around 40 stories up. From this vantage the hustle and bustle on the streets below seemed almost quaint, like a miniature Christmas village. It was nice sometimes to remember what she was fighting for.

"Okay," Winn said, a teasing smile in his voice. "I guess I'll stop by." As if there was any doubt he would. What would Kara do without her friends? Already, she was looking forward to the night even if she would have to miss her favorite show. Winn and James, Maggie and Alex would all be there. Maybe J'onn too if they could convince him. The sun sunk behind the distant hills and the street lights turned on one after the other. Rush hour traffic began to dwindle out. For once, National City seemed to be at peace. Kara contemplated staying up there until 9 when Mon-el had set the time for their "feast". But he would probably want some help even if he wouldn't ask for it. Also she was a little worried what he would do to her kitchen if he wasn't supervised. Kara turned, cape ruffling softly in the cool wind that she couldn't really feel, and aimed herself toward home.

"Uh, Kara," it was Alex's voice coming through on the comms. There was a tension in her voice that Kara distinctly did not like. She paused again in mid-air, trying to calculate how long it would take to fly to the DEO and hone in on Alex's heartbeat at the same time. "So you know your friend, the fast guy…"

"The Flash?"

"I'm not calling him that," Alex snapped back almost reflexively. They'd had a few conversations about the name and Alex was firmly in Cat's camp on the subject.

"Barry?"

"Yeah, he's here."

"Wait, what? Why? Is he coming to dinner?"

"I don't know. Kara, look, I think you need to get over here, fast." Kara didn't need to be told that twice. She landed with a thud on the outer balcony within a minute. Alex was waiting anxiously by the entrance surrounded by the DEO's night shift who all stood in the lobby instead of at their stations. Kara noticed quite a few agents with their weapons drawn and her heart skipped to a faster tempo in her chest. They turned to acknowledge her but their eyes still lingered down a dark hallway through which she knew was the training room. A steady pounding, on beat with her heart, was issuing out of the darkness.

Alex reached out and grabbed her elbow, it was a worried gesture but still it helped to ground Kara. Her sister's presence always did, in good times or in bad.

"What's going on?"

"Your friend appeared out of nowhere and started destroying government property," J'onn said walking up to the sisters. Kara winced at his harsh look of disappointment. "We believe he is waiting for you."

"Okay, I'll, uh, see what I can do." Kara made eye contact with her sister, asking silently- _Will you come with me?_ Alex nodded back.

Kara made her way into the training room with Alex at her back. She didn't know what she expected to see but it wasn't what she saw. The Flash, and it was Flash not Barry, was a blur of motion in the corner. Not running but snarling like an animal and punching the concrete wall. Broken chips covered the floor and each blow sent vibrations through the entire building. At the speed they were coming, Kara was worried the ceiling was going to shake itself apart.

"Barry?" He didn't react. "Flash?" He growled and ground his teeth together, delivering speed punches one after another into the wall. Kara looked over her shoulder back at Alex and was met with wide eyes.

Kara inched closer until she was able to place a hand on Barry's shoulder. The Flash whirled around with golden eyes, aiming a fist at her head. She was able to catch it but it sent her stumbling back a step.

"Barry! It's me," she shouted, his fist still caught in her own. He blinked and his eyes turned from gold to green and he was Barry again. Cowl pulled down, hair dark with sweat, hands broken in her's. The concrete behind him was pulverized to dust so the steel supports showed through and dripped with blood. He must have torn the skin on his hands to shreds and broken the bones over and over again, in how long? It could only have been the span of a few minutes.

"Kara?" He sounded broken, desperate. Like he didn't even know her and needed her at the same time.

"Barry? What's wrong?"

He didn't answer, at least not with words. Instead, he lunged into her arms and began to cry. Thick ugly sobs. She stumbled back into the wall and then slid down it as his legs gave out beneath him. Kara just tried to hold on, to hold him together through the storm.

When he could finally speak, his face buried in her shoulder, it wasn't anger or despair that spoke but a soft melancholy as if he had just realized something unexpectedly profound.

"June's not coming," the words were choked with tears and a sore throat but Kara could hear them clear enough. "There won't be a Summer, not ever again."

"Huh, Barry? What are you talking about?" Kara asked trying to keep her voice calm and soft. Really, she wanted to shake him. This wasn't the Barry Allen she knew. "Of course there will be a Summer. There always is." That was something she knew all too well.

"No, no. You don't understand. Iris won't be here in June. She'll never see it. And I can't live without her, Kara. I just can't."

She slowly rubbed her hands up and down his back. Sending comfort through thick red leather. Alex stood in the threshold with her arms crossed against her chest. She watched them with a mix of sympathy and confusion. She raised an eyebrow- _What's he talking about?_ Kara shot back a look- _Give him a break. I think something horrible is going on._ Alex barely had to move to say- _That's what I'm afraid of._ It was pretty much her default.

"Barry? Talk to me. What's happening?"

"I-I can't do this. I failed. I'm failing them. Iris, I can't do this without her. And Cisco, I think he's going to leave and- and Wally won't even look at me and Cait," his voice cracked around a sob. His arms dug so tight into her back that she could almost feel it like back when she was a child. Like back when she was still mortal. "Oh god! Cait! I think we killed her. I think we killed her." Kara's gentle hands froze, she could see Alex stiffen in the doorway but her view was partially blocked by Barry. She worked herself back down. Barry was distraught, he probably didn't mean it like… that. However, it sounded like. It didn't help that Kara couldn't quite place who Cait even was. He didn't mean-

"Caitlin?" All she got was a nod as Barry tried to burrow further into her though there was really anywhere to go. Not for the first time, Kara wished she was bigger. For all her strength there was only so much she could hold and she really wanted to hold the whole world sometimes. She wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, running her thumb through his short brown hair. He was colder than she remember like the lightning had seeped out of him.

Alex stepped closer. Her fingers twitched at her side like she didn't quite know what to do but wanted to do something. Kara knew her sister well, she was probably feeling pretty helpless right then. Kara was feeling the same. They meet eyes and Alex mouthed "Who?"

"Caitlin Snow, Barry's doctor."

"She was my friend," Barry muttered into the crook of her neck. Kara didn't miss the past tense. Was he saying Iris was dying and Caitlin was already dead? What the hell had happened? It brought back that old surge of fear. That gut punch from when she'd first seen James in that Guardian costume. When she saw Alex plummeting to the earth in that plane. That realization that this new world she'd found was just as fragile as the one she'd lost. That once again she was going to be the last one standing. She had thought Barry was safe, but she was starting to realize he was just as human as everyone underneath that suit. As human as everyone but her.

"I haven't been straight with you," Barry said after a long time. "I told you I was some great hero. But I'm nothing. Just a fuckup."

"What are you talking about? You're the Flash. You save people."

"Not enough. Not the ones who really matter. I'm a curse. Everything I touch, I destroy."

Alex still standing vigil in the doorway watched on in sympathy. She could relate. To the feeling of being the worst thing in your life, to feeling like things happened because you deserved them, because you weren't good enough. Kara looked at her sister as she squeezed Barry tighter. She had seen that before no matter how hard she tried to fight it off.

"That's not true," she said to both of them. This she knew for a fact because her life was better, infinitely better with them in it.

But Barry only shook his head.

A swirl of blue opened in a dark corner of the room and Kara felt a surge of relief. Cisco was here. He would know what to do.

"No, you don't understand. You don't know. I killed my parents, and Eddie, and Ronnie, and Dante, and Caitlin. I ruined their lives and then I made them pay for my mistakes. Everything that's ever gone wrong in my life all comes down to what I've done and what I still have yet to do. And now I'm letting Iris down too." The tears started to run down his face again and his voice choked. He was pouring out so much grief and hurt and Kara didn't know what to do or say. She didn't know the names. Didn't know how Barry's story was just a snake eating itself.

Footsteps drew her eyes up again as Cisco came closer. Slowly, painfully like every step hurt. His face was smeared with blood, nose smashed sideways, lip split. His goggles hung from his fingers limply.

"What happened to you?"

He attempted something close to a smile but not quite. There was sorrow in his eyes.

"Julian. He's losing his shit. Wanted to run off to Savitar, try and sacrifice himself to get her back. I got in his way. Maybe let him land a few more than I should have." He was obviously talking more to Barry than to Kara because she still didn't understand. How much had Barry kept from her when she was with him only a few weeks before? He'd been happy and in love. Cisco had been joking and showing off his awesome powers. Caitlin had been working to save their lives. Joked about hearing Barry sing. Things had seemed good. Kara wondered if it had all been a front.

"What are you doing here?" Barry asked without even looking at Cisco.

"I'm here to tell you to come home. Iris needs you."

"I was wrong. There was nothing to learn. Nothing to do. How can I go back and tell her that I failed, again? That I lied again? That I can't save her?"

"You won't. You'll tell her we're going to save like we always planned."

"We couldn't change the future. We couldn't change anything."

"We don't need to. All we need to do is stop Savitar."

"I'm not fast enough," Barry grunted out. He sounded broken, even more than before.

Cisco took a deep breath and let it out against his chest.

"You're not."

"So…"

"But it doesn't matter," Cisco interrupted sharply. There was a hint of anger in his voice. For a second, Kara imagined just what he was capable of. "Because you won't be doing it alone. We'll do it together. You, me, and Cait, like it's always been. We'll save your Iris."

"Cait's dead, Cisco. She's gone."

"No," with the word, with the intensity in it, he sank to his knees. He reached out a hand to Barry's shoulder and the hero finally turned to see him. "I don't believe that. I refuse to believe that. Because Caitlin loses hard and she gets back up like how other people give up. She's not going to leave us, not now when we need her."

Barry gripped the hand on his shoulder.

"I wish I had your faith."

"I think you're the one who gave it to me." Something trembled on his lips and he looked like he was going to say something else. But then he sprang to his feet and backed away. "So I'll get Caitlin back and you take the night and then you'll come back and tell Iris that you're going to marry her. And we'll kill ourselves a god."

Barry nodded though he didn't look he believed a word Cisco had said.

Cisco slid his goggles back on and turned to the wall, opening a breach with the flick of his wrist. Then he turned back around and looked Kara in the eyes for the first time.

"You'll take care of him, won't you?"

"Always."

Cisco nodded, stepped through the portal to another world, and was gone.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to that," Alex muttered under her breath though it was loud enough to reach Kara's ears.

"No, neither will I." She glanced at Barry, red eyed and worn. "I think we should get some rest, what do you think?"

He just nodded.

Kara scooped him up in her arms and carried him across the wreckage of the training room. As they passed Alex, her sister called, "You guys can crash at my place, I'll sleep at Maggie's tonight… And I'll tell everyone why you couldn't make Mon-el's 'feast'".

"Thanks," Kara smiled gratefully. She wasn't looking forward to that conversation or explaining the situation for that matter.

They took to the skies and Barry was asleep before they landed on Alex's balcony. He was gone in the morning before she woke up. On the bedside table was a note written in sprawling, messy handwriting.

 _Kara,_

 _I know I didn't explain. I don't think I could right now. But thank you. You helped. I just might be able to do it because of you. It helps a lot to have Supergirl believe in you._

 _When see each other again, things will be better. I hope._

 _Your superfriend,_

 _Barry_


End file.
